party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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