Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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