I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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