omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
