I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
