They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
