So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
