dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He has the fingertips of a God
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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