while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
