just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
