you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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