So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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