So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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