all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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