and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
