I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
