marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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