Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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