I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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