I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
