So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
