Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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