He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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