remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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