i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
