I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
