They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
