cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
