Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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