True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
