people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
