Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's the barista slut.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
