apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We need to get me chipped asap
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
