I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
