Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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