In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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