God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
