69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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