OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
