i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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