Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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