man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
