We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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