She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
