Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
