Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
