it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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