i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
