Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
