So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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