I don't think brook has ever known best
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
