You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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