Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
